Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Ten things that annoy me (today)

I'm in a mood... so bear with me, okay? Here are a bunch of things that are irritating me.

  1.  Close-standers. Really, the food court is not big enough that your elbow needs to be touching mine? Back the fk up, seriously.

  2.  Colleagues who try to trouble-shoot their own email issues by unplugging a bunch of wires from the back of their computer (because, yeah, that might work), and then coming to ask me to take a look at it. Why would you do that?

  3.  Any Facebook status that includes the words "Louboutin" or "Golden Globes".

  4.  While we're on Facebook statuses: any that end with "re-post if you agree!". No, I will not. Also? Those pictures that get shared with words of wisdom like "Behind Every Good Man is a Great Woman.". Really, we need pictures of these things? We can't even be bothered to copy & paste this recycled stuff? Really.

  5.  Photos of kids using the potty. I don't care how proud you are of them... I don't even really want to watch my own kid on the crapper, I certainly shouldn't have to look at yours, thankyouverymuch.

Not at all Bootylicious.
  6.  Grown women wearing anything with Hello Kitty on it, or the words "Bootylicious". Just... no.

  7.  Other moms who form their judgey parenting scorn in the form of a question: "Oh, you let her walk around carrying that bunny blanket all day?" Shut up, beotch, and yes I do. Your kid is eating his own boogers as we speak, let's talk about THAT.

  8.  Politics, Game-Day play-by-plays, anything to do with any of the  Kardashians. I don't care.

  9.  The commercials on XM radio, especially the Oprah station (yes, I listen to Oprah on XM satellite radio... what). Considering she's supposed to be all zen and stuff, the commercials on her stations have got to be the most annoying on the entire planet. You know the ones: they yell the same thing at you no less than 10 times, to make sure you get so annoyed that you repeat it ("I hate you, Service Magic!") few minutes later. Aaand... they got you.

  10.  Anyone who uses "eXpecially", "supposeBly", or "co-inky-dink". NOT words, people.

  10 1/2. PMS.