Thursday, January 07, 2016

Countdown to 10K: Fear the Pit of Despair

As many of you know I signed up to run a 10K this year. Next month, in fact.

Why? Why?? What would possess me to do such a thing? I have never in my life run more than 5K. Ever. I'm not a runner. I don't exercise. The whole thing is so laughable!

But, peer pressure -- and the promise of an EPIC meetup with some amazing ladies who I have known online for over 9 years but have never met -- led me to click "Register", and in that moment of insanity, I sealed my fate. My fate of possibly laying in a ditch in the middle of Epcot, crying.

But! BUT! ... I HAVE been training. Like actually training -- not just shopping. I have gotten on the treadmill a few times a week for the past few months and walk/run/walked a few kms. I have taken the runfies*. I have tracked my pace.

Fun fact: a 10-minute mile is not the same as a 10 minute km. Conversions (read: math) have never been my strong suit, as evidenced when I thought I was running a 7 minute km. Super fast! Then I realized my treadmill and running app weren't speaking the same language, and so I converted it all to km, and it told me my pace was a solid 10:00:00 and I was super happy about that, because balloon ladies.

Oh yes: the balloon ladies. They are these very scary 10 foot tall women (at least in my mind) carrying 10 foot tall balloons (ish), and they run a 16 minute mile way at the back of the pack of runners. If you fall behind them, you get swept. Into a pit of despair and lava. I'm pretty sure that's what I read.

Either way, the point is you need to stay ahead of these menacing creatures or you get thrown in the pit / swept off the course. It's all very scary, but seeing as how I can do a 4K run on the treadmill in 10:00:00 I figured, I'm good to go. No worries mate -- just need to add kms!

But no. Nooooo. Turns out, a 10 minute km is NOT the same as a 10 minute mile. In fact, it's a little over a 16 minute mile.

OMG OMG OMG I'm going to get thrown in the pit.

Let's go back to the distance issue. Again: I have never run a 10K anything. I once hiked 16 km in one day but I was like 16 years old and nearly died**.

**not really. I was super tired though.

So that's where I am. Lucky for me I still have plenty of time to train! A whole... what... 6 weeks?

............ 6 weeks. OMG OMG.

Okay... here's my plan:
- Treadmill 3x week, 2x 35 minutes, 1x adding another km each week until I'm up to 10. (I'm comfortably doing 4K now)
- Move from 3/1 (run 3 mins walk 1), to 10/1s. I can do this now but I think I have ITB syndrome now -- runner's knee -- which is kindof hilarious to me because I'm not a runner. All the lols.
- Hot yoga 2x/week. Because hot and sweaty and why not?
- ITB strengthening exercises on my days off
- Don't die
- Don't get thrown in the pit

Can I get it together in the next 6 weeks??......... Honestly, I don't know. My last runfie will likely be of me prone in a ditch in mid-February. Watch for it!

*Runfies. It's totally a thing!

10K Runfie 2   10K Runfie 3   10K Runfie 4

These were obviously all taken before I realized about The Pit. Note the happy look on my face and the naive thumbs ups.