All the Posts I Haven't Written

Post-holiday Hangover has finally subsided, and I've managed to bust through the haze to bring you this entry. I survived another year and so did you! Go US!

However... this is admittedly a half-baked post. I mean -- I needed to start somewhere. It seems lately I have this bad habit of only writing posts in my head... I know every blogger composes posts in their head, constantly, like a non-stop narrative of life as they go through their day. Thing is, most bloggers actually sit down and WRITE those posts, whereas I've been in this weird loop of developing a (seemingly) great post in my head, life getting in the way for a few hours or a few days, and it's gone. Poof. And repeat.

A few examples of the posts I have had in my head at some point over the past month:

DIY: An Easy, Fun, Meaningful Family Gift

It can be hard to come up with gifts for grandparents who seemingly have everything, and really just want a piece of the grandkids anyway.

With this in mind, we recently made this canvas for the Nonna in our life (hi!) and I think it turned out great! The bonus was that we were all able to participate, and in years to come it will server as a reminder of how small (and messy!) the kids hands were at this age.

Cool huh?

We started with a blank canvas from the Dollar Store, and painted the background all over. Then I added the brown tree shape - you could make it as realistic or whimsical as you want, with as many branches as there are family members. The kids chose their own colours for their hand-prints, and those become the 'leaves'. It just so happened they ended up making a rainbow of colours... that was a total fluke (but neat, right?).

The phrase we went with - you could put anything, this was inspired by how the tree came out in our case:

Family
   a little messy
      a little off-centre
          lots of love

What can I say... I was thinking on my feet! ;)

In any event it was hung at Nonna's house almost immediately and the kids are so proud to have been able to make something so neat for their grandmother. (I am annoyed that the lettering at the bottom ended up crooked... next time I'd put down some painter's tape to help guide me!)

Countdown to Christmas: Family Advent Tree

It was around November 30 last year when I suddenly realised I hadn't done anything about advent calendars for the kids. Now, what childhood would be complete without a countdown to Christmas?? Clearly I had dropped the ball and had to remedy the situation... STAT.

jump to activity list

A frantic search on Pinterest revealed a lot of very cute, some very elaborate advent calendars that just weren't going to cut it. First of all - ain't nobody got time for that. Plus I didn't have a whole bunch of supplies ready to go and no desire to run out to craft stores etc - this had to be something I could whip up on the very last day possible with whatever I had on hand. That's just how I roll. 

As a result, I put my thinking cap on and came up with THIS GEM... which we plan to do again this year and for years to come: A Family Advent Tree.

DIY LEGO costume

Have a LEGO fan at home?? You must make this costume!

With Halloween just around the corner, I thought I'd share the LEGO costume we made for The Boy last year. It turned out so well, and was surprisingly easy to make with just a cardboard box, some tape, paint, and red Solo cups!

We started with a fairly large box, cut oval holes for the head and arms, as well as a larger hole in the bottom with plenty of room to walk. We taped the edges of the box where we'd cut out the holes to make them smoother. In this case we used masking tape -- if I did this again I'd use something that would stay stuck better once painted, as the masking tape started to lift with the wet paint.

  

Next we took it outside and spray painted the box red (to make a red LEGO piece!). I used a Rustoleum spray paint ("Ultra Cover") in a bright red colour... it turned out perfectly and took about 3 light coats to really cover the box. 

 

Now to make it really look like a big LEGO brick... we taped red SOLO cups that we had cut down to about half the height to the front of the box using red electrical tape. The bigger the box, the more 'bumps' you could use. We chose 6 bumps for this size box.

Finally, we printed a few LEGO logos that we found online, and glued those to the side of the 'brick'. We also taped one to a red baseball hat and dressed The Boy in a red shirt and black pants. 

I think it turned out really well... certainly no mistaking what he was dressed up as, and he just LOVED the costume! It was worn many times after Halloween too...

Waving the White Flag

(please send chocolate!)

I am literally hiding from my children as I write this. No joke - I'm in the laundry room, trying not to make a sound, hoping they don't think to look for me here (which is ironic, given how much time I spend in here on a regular basis). I retreated when they stormed the castle, shouting "Take no prisoners!!...". At least that's how I remember it going down.

I can't say I ever imagined life as a mom being quite like this. I thought, it can't be that hard... I mean come on - my own mother did just fine and she had a whole extra kid! I can really only remember a handful of times when she'd completely lose her schmidt and we'd think, 'Uh oh, here we go...' Clearly I had no way to know just how difficult it can be to keep one's cool when kids can just be total shitheads sometimes. 

So, why I thought keeping the kids home for a couple of weeks this summer would be a good idea is beyond me. Well that's not true - in fact I don't think I ever considered it a "good idea" at all. Just that I'd be home with the baby on maternity leave, and I felt some kind of duty to have the other two with me. Isn't that what moms are supposed to do in the summer? I imagined taking them to the beach, playground, on picnics... Doing fun crafts, flying kites, catching bugs, sidewalk chalk on the drive way, bikes, watermelon...

Of course, that was before I wound up with a 6-year-old with a cast on his arm, an up-and-at-em 3.5-year-old (who still kind-of needs her daily nap in the afternoon), and weather alternating between sweltering heat and pouring rain. To say things aren't going according to plan would be an understatement. I'm not mom-of-the-year, or even the summer... I am yelly/snappy/aggravated mom and it ain't pretty. I don't want to yell, but for some reason any voice I use other than LOUD doesn't seem to make it to their brains. Odd, since The Hubs and I can be in another room speaking quietly and they will hear every word!

But I digress. Since I can't take the kids to the beach, or anywhere near water, and now it's raining (again), it seems we're a bit stuck getting on each others nerves because who wants to just sit at home all day? Which is why I found myself hiding in the laundry room... And when they went postal and started throwing stuff and screaming, that's when I waved the white flag and announced that it's Quiet Time and everyone was sent to their rooms, including the baby. Not without some negotiation, mind you (it turns out we do, in fact, negotiate with terrorists - at least in this house) - I got 25 minutes of Quiet Time in exchange for three shows later. I'm not sure who won that exchange, I just know its quiet in my house for the first time all day and I got to use the bathroom ALONE. Small victories.

Have I mentioned it's only the first day of "vacation"?.... Please send wine and chocolate. And this is why kids go to summer camp!!

Diary of a Real Pregnancy: Week 35: Holidaze and a Cheap Tour of L&D

The whirlwind of the holidays means pregnancy 'stuff' gets put on the back burner! I'll tell you one thing, wrapping gifts goes into a whole new dimension when you have this hugeass belly getting in the way. Somehow it all managed to get done (some things a little late, like mailing packages... oops), but man did my back ever pay the price.

Turns out gaining 40+ pounds and being totally out of shape is seriously not a good idea if you want to be able to walk normally. Waddling would actually be an improvement at this point... Most of the time these days I can't even get up from a chair properly, I'm in so much pain. Pregnancy massage is *amazing*, but the relief only lasts for that one hour, and then it's back to hobbling around like an old lady. Super.

On the plus side (pardon the pun ;)), Christmas really has been wonderful this year. I'm enjoying our last Christmas as a family of four, and imagining what it will be like next year with a fifth member of our family crawling (and possibly toddling!) about. Pretty awesome.

Then... Christmas Day. A funny thing happened...

A while back I had been complaining (Nooo not me!) that the hospital where we're going to deliver doesn't do refresher labour & delivery courses or a tour of the facilities. Since we delivered in another hospital the last two times, I just wanted to have a look and get a feel for where we'd be once it was 'go time'... but, no luck.

Anyway back to Christmas day. There we were, bellies full of Christmas Morning Wife Saver (the only acceptable breakfast for Christmas morning!), presents opened, everyone in their PJs just starting to think about getting ready to head over to Nonna & Opa's (my parents). The Girl announced from the bathroom that she'd peed and wanted me to come have a look (aren't 3-year-olds the best?), which I did. Except, in the process of helping her off the toilet, we both ended up falling to the floor. 38 pounds of toddler, right on my belly.

And then...

A puddle. Beneath me. What the...?? I had an internal freak-out session. Did I just pee on the floor? Or... is that... did my water break?? I had no idea what was happening. I got myself cleaned up (meanwhile The Girl reported back to The Hubs that "Mommy peed in her pants!"... sigh) and sat there wondering what to do...

My doctor has been pretty clear as to when to go to Labour & Deliver (L&D): any gushes of fluid, or bleeding. In fact she reminded me of this every time I saw her... and this seemed like a pretty clear 'gush of fluid' to me. Thing is, it's really hard to tell the difference between urine and amniotic fluid :\

SO. Packed the kids up. The Hubs and I exchanging looks like "OMG"... We are, of course, nowhere near ready to welcome a baby home. (Turns out we're more ready than I thought, but having done NOTHING for baby at this point we really were in deer-in-headlights mode...) I threw together a makeshift labour bag, some things for baby just in case, and we headed out. Dropped the kids with my parents, headed in to L&D.

So, I did get my tour of L&D after all... on Christmas day no less. Of course, after monitoring the baby for a while (nurse laughing about how crazy active she is... kicking the monitors nearly off my belly!), and doing their various tests, it was confirmed: I peed myself. Merry Christmas to me!

I was so glad it wasn't baby time but totally embarrassed that we'd gone through all that just to find out I'd peed on the floor. So lame.

But -- it was a wake-up call... It really could be any time. (Course, just watch, I will be a full week late or something, oh dear.) Time to get our butts in gear!

A Month of Giving: Warm Fuzzies

As many of you know I've decided to take a break from the crazy spending spree this holiday season through a Month of Giving. I thought I'd give a quick update of how it's going so far.

So, the first week was interesting. While I was busy trying to think of ways to give, I found myself on the receiving end of generosity and helpfulness. While I really was grateful for the help I was getting (all sorts of things, from someone letting me go in front of them in a checkout, to someone offering to do a huge favour for me because I was in a bind), at the same time I kept thinking, no no, I'm supposed to be helping YOU! But, I used it as fuel for the fire and set out to do a few things.

Now, being 100 months pregnant (or so it feels) and everything else, I'm finding it difficult to get around, let alone launch some kind of big philanthropy mission. So, instead, I've been trying to find small, unique ways to make people's day a little better. While in a coffee shop check-out line, I asked The Hubs to pay for the person behind us, just because. Funny thing was, we didn't realize the people behind us had ordered about $25 worth of food and drinks. Heh. But no matter... we paid and it felt good to think about what I assumed would be smiles on their faces. I felt like a Christmas elf!

Meanwhile I've been saying "Yes" to every check-out person who asks if I want to donate $1 to random charity du jour (except The Salvation Army... I won't go into details but on principle I don't donate there). Normally I would say "No thanks" or "Not this time" <-- as if I intended to give another time, which I never really do. I kindof liked saying "Yes, sure!" to each one. Warm fuzzies. Feels great to let drivers go in front of me (even when my instinct is to speed up and shoot them a glace... had to check that instinct!) and even just smile at people I pass. Isn't funny how just a smile, or picking up something that someone dropped, or opening a door for someone can make things seem... better?


I've been throwing extra money in tip jars, signing up to volunteer at The Boy's school, giving toys to toy drives. It's getting fun, actually. The next challenge will be involving the kids, as I think it's important for them to see this and know what a difference we can make, even if it's small.

I've also donated some 'real' money to a couple of charities that mean a lot to me, personally, and which I've neglected to do for the past couple of years. I feel badly that I've spent so much on my own family and 'intended' to do more for others but just didn't get around to it. I feel like I'm making up for that now, however small a contribution I'm able to make now.

I have a few little things planned for the next couple of weeks that will be fun for me. Stay tuned... :)

Countdown to Christmas: A month of giving

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to make this year 'different'. Every holiday season I vow sometime at the beginning of October that THIS YEAR, it's going to be different. We're going to replace "stuff" with meaningful experiences. We're going to give to others, and buy less for ourselves. We're going to do some good, rather than filling our home with things we don't need out of obligation or tradition.

And then, inevitably, the season gets away from me, and we find ourselves at the mall with everyone else, scooping up the latest must-have gift or taking advantage of a deal too good to pass up (but... it's 40% off!).

Don't these people look filled with the holiday spirit?

I'm usually able to 'fit in' a few good moments among the craziness - baking cookies, or decorating, or watching a holiday movie as a family. But, those moments seem so fleeting in a season filled with to do lists, pressure, events we're obliged to attend (another breakfast with Santa...?), things not finished, stress.

So. I am here now, mid-November, making a pledge. This year really IS going to be different.

I'm kicking off a Month of Giving, starting on Nov. 24. This will give me a month to give, outside my own friends and family, for a month before showering my own circle with love and joy and gifts.

My plan is to find ways, big and small, to make a difference. This all came to a head today when I read a Facebook status from a friend (hi Paula! :)) who had just gotten a free coffee, thanks to the person ahead of her in the drive-through. Such a simple yet powerful gesture. I bet that person ahead of her never imagined they would be the catalyst in a month of giving by someone totally unrelated to the exchange at the drive-through window!

I have some ideas of things I can do, but I'm looking for more ideas (keep in mind I have two kids, 7 months pregnant and a full-time job...). Anything - big or small - I will consider it all. I will do something each day from Nov 24 - Dec 24. I am excited!

Anyone want to join me?

Diary of a Real Pregnancy - Week 23: Back pain, but Eating Well Again!

Week 23 - Back pain, but Eating Well Again!


So I finally implemented the healthy eating plan and I can tell you it's going very well so far. Shocked?? Me too!

I still snack on things I shouldn't (who doesn't have a weakness for chips and chocolate??) but having a drawer / fridge full of healthy snacks at work means I get a lot more of the good stuff and a lot less  of the bad. My mid-afternoon treat is a cup of Greek yogurt, instead of a chocolate bar. And, lo and behold, I am actually feeling better too! DUH moment of the week -- eat well = feel well. Genius.

My appetite hasn't decreased ANY yet, in fact I think the baby must be gowing through a growth spurt lately because I can eat and eat and eat and just not. get. full. I really have to take a belly pic one of these days since I've totally popped out (especially after I eat, haha).

I like the way this guy thinks.

This past weekend was Thanksgiving in Canada... such a lovely time of year. Mostly because of the food! As an example of my insatiable appetite (which is SO strange for me... I usually eat a little bit and I'm full), I had a FULL plate of Thanksgiving dinner *drool* and a big piece of pumpkin cheesecake *drool* and when everyone else at the table was bemoaning the amount of food they just consumed, I skipped out to the kitchen and came back with a plate of cookies. Hee!

Being over-5-months-pregnant and over-the-hill means I can't do what I used to be able to, though. Reality sets in when an afternoon of cooking and then planting bulbs in the garden the next day = exhaustion, stiffness and screaming back pain. Woe is me! At this point I can find relief with a magic bag and a Tylenol, but you bet your bottom dollar I'll be booking a pregnancy massage soon. Really just an excuse to be pampered for an hour, but I remember the sweet, sweet relief that it brought last time, and I'm all ready for that kind of attention :)

In the meantime we're trying to come up with some inventive Halloween costumes for the Hubs and I this year. We have a few ideas but would love more. Anything really unique out there for a preggo and her hubby? Share your ideas and if we pick one of them, I'll post pics and give you full credit!
 
Previous: Week 22 - Crackerjacking, and Other Pregnancy Woes
Next: Week 24 - SICK

Which Mom are you?

Another holiday has passed (if you can consider Valentine's Day a 'holiday' -- any day that I still have to work is just a day with a fancy name), and once again we were subjected to the barrage of posts on Facebook and other social media sites (what 'other' sites? I don't know, just covering my bases) signifying the day.

And, I was once again reminded that as moms, we fall into one of several categories regarding our approach to these things. There are the Overachievers, the Underachievers, The Regular Moms, and what I think is a somewhat new phenomenon (or maybe I'm just now seeing it): the Overachieving Underachievers.

After reading a post on PeopleIWantToPunchInTheThroat (yes, you read that right, and she's hilarious) I had a pang of guilt -- for I, too, had pinned all kinds of wonderful things on Pinterest thinking "I could do that!", and I even did a few of them. It wasn't an over-the top holiday extravaganza by any means, but I did do a few cute things, take photos of them and post them to Facebook. Why did I do this? I wanted the accolades. There, I said it. Melting down crayons and sticking them to heart-shaped cards had nothing to do with The Girl and how much she and her classmates would love them. Let's face it: they are two years old. They had no idea. But, I knew parents and teachers would see them. I did them for me, and so I could post pictures of them. Yep. I'm resisting posting a photo of them here, right now!

Now, I know I'm not the Overachiever Mom by any means. After my recent Christmas Rant about how I suck at holidays, I came to grips with the fact that generally, I'm just trying to Keep Up. I find myself scrambling at the last minute, forgetting things altogether (those Scholastic orders? We never remember to submit them!), throwing things together in a half-baked attempt to prove I'm a worthy mom. It's not about the kids half the time... it's about how people perceive me as a mom. Wow.

So am I an Underachiever? I don't think so. There are very few legitimate Underachiever Moms. Those are the ones who really don't give a crap what happens to their kids. They are out there... but they aren't the ones reading parenting blogs, so I'm not too worried about offending them ;)

Regular Moms... that's me, and probably you too. Try their best, do what they can, try to make their kids smile sometimes, need a glass of wine every now and then, forget stuff, cry when their kids get hurt, try to make most meals balanced ones, sometimes end up with a Happy Meal. Yell sometimes, hug lots.

But then there are these Overachieving Underachievers. The ones who are trying to prove they are NOT trying too hard at all this. The ones who refuse to do anything from Pinterest and will tell you how stupid it is. The ones who seem to make it their goal to underachieve and rant about what all the other moms are doing. They are proud of their lack of parenting skills. It seems to be the hip new club that everyone's joining, and I have to say I can kind of relate. If I can't be an Overachiever, I can at least be the antithesis of one, and then point at them and laugh.

In any event, I realized I was reaching a new level of crazy when I forced my 4.5 to sit with me and work on his Valentines, and when he goofed off and wrote his name wrong on one of them and I crumpled it up in anger. Yeah, I did that, and I felt horrible about it and gave myself a Mommy Time-out. It really made me question my motivation for the things I do 'for' my kids...

If you couldn't take a photo and post it online, would you still do half the things you do? Hmmmmm.

Taking Down Christmas

Take THAT, Christmas!

No, this isn't about me tackling Christmas head-on and coming out the winner - though that would be fun, wouldn't it?

No, it's about removing all the bits and bobs that made their way into our house and onto our walls and every other surface in the month of December.

It's at this time that I'm reminded of a few things:
- What goes up must come down
- Pine needles stick to *everything*
- My house is going to look rather barren and pathetic very soon

I'm looking around at all the things that, while putting them up, seemed like such a fun and festive idea. And they were - it's been a blast decorating our new place for Christmas for the first time, finding spots for things and getting a lot of new things to adorn the shelves and knobs and window sills.

But now... I have to take them all down and put them away, and they seem to have multiplied in the past few weeks! Do you think I can get away with leaving up everything red and silver, and calling them Valentine's Day decorations??

I also have to resist the urge to organize everything. Once I get in that 'clean up, clean out' mode, nothing is safe. I'm going from room to room, pulling things out of closets, going through drawers finding things to purge,basically making a big mess and not getting any further ahead. Meanwhile the Christmas decor will still be up. So instead I will resist the organizational purge and just get rid of all the red & green I see everywhere. And it is *everywhere*. Here I go. Any tips for me?? (Besides forget it, get a glass of wine and put my feet up - because I tried that and it didn't work!)

Post-holiday Hangover

Christmas Dinner: if it weren't for my hands,
my face would be on the table
(and I didn't even cook!)

Phew. So that's it then. It's all done. The lists, the shopping, the wrapping... Sending of packages, filling of stockings (not that I did that - it was Santa), eating of cookies and turkey. I must say, a week of staying up past midnight and drinking all that wine (I was forced) really did me in. Clearly I am not the partier I once was! So I was all too happy to send the kids off to daycare today while I stayed home, albeit feeling a *little* guilty about it. Apparently we were one of only four neglectful families to send their kids off to the daycare today. Hey - one-on-one time with their teachers. That's what we're paying them for. (Thank GOODNESS they are open this week!!)

To assuage the guilt, I made a list of things I wanted to get done while the kids were gone all day. Now, I did have to work from home this morning, so really it's just the afternoon.

• put away new toys, clothes etc. Meaning: find somewhere to cram them, or find toys to give away to make room.
• take down decorations
• finish laundry
• clean the kitchen for the umpteenth time this week
• vacuum tree needles from the living room floor, couches, and various other nooks and crannies that they find their way into
• organize closets and dressers, since we've been living out of laundry baskets for weeks and finally got all the clothing put away and realized half of it doesn't fit or is out of season
• various painting projects that I've been ignoring for, oh, years
• print wedding photos (long overdue)
• begin work on a few websites

What I've actually gotten done so far:

• eat lunch

Next I plan to take a nap, then maybe shower and get dressed. Guilt Schmilt; it's my day off.

"Must be some fire!", or - Mom Fail: Holiday Edition

As this holiday season marches on, it's becoming more and more clear to me that I am mising the plot. I am adding things to the to-do list faster than I am crossing them off, and having a hard time keeping up with all the things I'm supposed to be doing as The Mom at Christmas time.

This past weekend, Sunday morning rolled by and as we were scrambling around trying to get a few things crossed off The List, the Hubs and I heard sirens outside. Lots of them. And then we heard them again. It was strange, because this is such a quiet neighbourhood, and we both commented that it must be some fire. I shrugged, half thinking about how awful a big fire would be right before Christmas, and went back to searching on-line for LEGO that I would be paying $$$ for express shipping because I am not on the ball enough to order things in advance.

There's no bigger reminder of your shortcomings as a mom, it seems, than the holidays. Everywhere you look, there are things that you aren't doing, but Other Moms are. Experiences that Other Moms are bestowing on their children, and that your poor deprived children are missing out on. Santa photos, holiday trains, advent activities. Baking, snowflake making, carolling, general merriment. Live action nativities, various goodwill volunteer activities. Don't even get me started on all the wonderful things I'm supposed to be making 'found on Pinterest'. Meanwhile we're barely able to keep up with the laundry enough to ensure clean clothes for the family (I say 'we' because The Hubs does try to help on the laundry front. See? I can't even get that done!). My kids have never visited Santa, except at a pancake breakfast put on by their daycare, which doesn't count since I really had nothing to do with it except to show up.

In a moment of holiday guilt, I finally set aside some time to do some holiday baking with The Boy. I can't tell you how many things got spilled, dropped, or squashed. I can tell you I burnt two entire trays of carefully rolled-out and subsequently mangled angels and stockings, and there might have been some muttered swearing and outright yelling. But, there was Christmas music playing in the background! That has to count for something!

All in all I'd classify my disasterous participation in the holidays this year as Mom Fail: Holiday Edition.

Oh and that big fire? Turns out it was a Santa Drive-by, put on by the local fire department. Ohhhhh... that explains the sirens. And, doh... add that to the list of holiday events that I knew nothing about until after the fact. We were supposed to run to the end of the driveway, wave to Santa, and then run back into the house for hot chocolate.

How to all the Other Moms find out about this stuff? Is there a secret Other Mom newsletter that I am not receiving? Or, did I receive it, and it's sitting at the bottom of a pile of papers "to go through" somewhere in the house?

I'm not sure what's worse - knowing about things in advance, adding them to The List and just not doing them, or not knowing about them at all. Thankfully the kids are none the wiser - they are still too young to know about all the wonderful things they are woefully missing out on because their mom sucks at The Holidays.

Until next year, when I will be on the ball, have all our gifts ordered in November, holiday baking (with help from the kids - and my good friend Spiked Eggnog - to add to the magic) done with a smile and a song, and every event attended with joy and posted to Facebook. Next year.