Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Which Mom are you?

Another holiday has passed (if you can consider Valentine's Day a 'holiday' -- any day that I still have to work is just a day with a fancy name), and once again we were subjected to the barrage of posts on Facebook and other social media sites (what 'other' sites? I don't know, just covering my bases) signifying the day.

And, I was once again reminded that as moms, we fall into one of several categories regarding our approach to these things. There are the Overachievers, the Underachievers, The Regular Moms, and what I think is a somewhat new phenomenon (or maybe I'm just now seeing it): the Overachieving Underachievers.

After reading a post on PeopleIWantToPunchInTheThroat (yes, you read that right, and she's hilarious) I had a pang of guilt -- for I, too, had pinned all kinds of wonderful things on Pinterest thinking "I could do that!", and I even did a few of them. It wasn't an over-the top holiday extravaganza by any means, but I did do a few cute things, take photos of them and post them to Facebook. Why did I do this? I wanted the accolades. There, I said it. Melting down crayons and sticking them to heart-shaped cards had nothing to do with The Girl and how much she and her classmates would love them. Let's face it: they are two years old. They had no idea. But, I knew parents and teachers would see them. I did them for me, and so I could post pictures of them. Yep. I'm resisting posting a photo of them here, right now!

Now, I know I'm not the Overachiever Mom by any means. After my recent Christmas Rant about how I suck at holidays, I came to grips with the fact that generally, I'm just trying to Keep Up. I find myself scrambling at the last minute, forgetting things altogether (those Scholastic orders? We never remember to submit them!), throwing things together in a half-baked attempt to prove I'm a worthy mom. It's not about the kids half the time... it's about how people perceive me as a mom. Wow.

So am I an Underachiever? I don't think so. There are very few legitimate Underachiever Moms. Those are the ones who really don't give a crap what happens to their kids. They are out there... but they aren't the ones reading parenting blogs, so I'm not too worried about offending them ;)

Regular Moms... that's me, and probably you too. Try their best, do what they can, try to make their kids smile sometimes, need a glass of wine every now and then, forget stuff, cry when their kids get hurt, try to make most meals balanced ones, sometimes end up with a Happy Meal. Yell sometimes, hug lots.

But then there are these Overachieving Underachievers. The ones who are trying to prove they are NOT trying too hard at all this. The ones who refuse to do anything from Pinterest and will tell you how stupid it is. The ones who seem to make it their goal to underachieve and rant about what all the other moms are doing. They are proud of their lack of parenting skills. It seems to be the hip new club that everyone's joining, and I have to say I can kind of relate. If I can't be an Overachiever, I can at least be the antithesis of one, and then point at them and laugh.

In any event, I realized I was reaching a new level of crazy when I forced my 4.5 to sit with me and work on his Valentines, and when he goofed off and wrote his name wrong on one of them and I crumpled it up in anger. Yeah, I did that, and I felt horrible about it and gave myself a Mommy Time-out. It really made me question my motivation for the things I do 'for' my kids...

If you couldn't take a photo and post it online, would you still do half the things you do? Hmmmmm.