Monday, December 19, 2011

"Must be some fire!", or - Mom Fail: Holiday Edition

As this holiday season marches on, it's becoming more and more clear to me that I am mising the plot. I am adding things to the to-do list faster than I am crossing them off, and having a hard time keeping up with all the things I'm supposed to be doing as The Mom at Christmas time.

This past weekend, Sunday morning rolled by and as we were scrambling around trying to get a few things crossed off The List, the Hubs and I heard sirens outside. Lots of them. And then we heard them again. It was strange, because this is such a quiet neighbourhood, and we both commented that it must be some fire. I shrugged, half thinking about how awful a big fire would be right before Christmas, and went back to searching on-line for LEGO that I would be paying $$$ for express shipping because I am not on the ball enough to order things in advance.

There's no bigger reminder of your shortcomings as a mom, it seems, than the holidays. Everywhere you look, there are things that you aren't doing, but Other Moms are. Experiences that Other Moms are bestowing on their children, and that your poor deprived children are missing out on. Santa photos, holiday trains, advent activities. Baking, snowflake making, carolling, general merriment. Live action nativities, various goodwill volunteer activities. Don't even get me started on all the wonderful things I'm supposed to be making 'found on Pinterest'. Meanwhile we're barely able to keep up with the laundry enough to ensure clean clothes for the family (I say 'we' because The Hubs does try to help on the laundry front. See? I can't even get that done!). My kids have never visited Santa, except at a pancake breakfast put on by their daycare, which doesn't count since I really had nothing to do with it except to show up.

In a moment of holiday guilt, I finally set aside some time to do some holiday baking with The Boy. I can't tell you how many things got spilled, dropped, or squashed. I can tell you I burnt two entire trays of carefully rolled-out and subsequently mangled angels and stockings, and there might have been some muttered swearing and outright yelling. But, there was Christmas music playing in the background! That has to count for something!

All in all I'd classify my disasterous participation in the holidays this year as Mom Fail: Holiday Edition.

Oh and that big fire? Turns out it was a Santa Drive-by, put on by the local fire department. Ohhhhh... that explains the sirens. And, doh... add that to the list of holiday events that I knew nothing about until after the fact. We were supposed to run to the end of the driveway, wave to Santa, and then run back into the house for hot chocolate.

How to all the Other Moms find out about this stuff? Is there a secret Other Mom newsletter that I am not receiving? Or, did I receive it, and it's sitting at the bottom of a pile of papers "to go through" somewhere in the house?

I'm not sure what's worse - knowing about things in advance, adding them to The List and just not doing them, or not knowing about them at all. Thankfully the kids are none the wiser - they are still too young to know about all the wonderful things they are woefully missing out on because their mom sucks at The Holidays.

Until next year, when I will be on the ball, have all our gifts ordered in November, holiday baking (with help from the kids - and my good friend Spiked Eggnog - to add to the magic) done with a smile and a song, and every event attended with joy and posted to Facebook. Next year.