Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Needed: Mommy Remote Control

I realize Moms of our generation have a lot of help in the form of gadgets, gear, etc that generations past did not have. Things like: cup holders on strollers, video monitors to watch Little Johnny even while he's sleeping (because that's important -- ooh he rolled over!), apps to keep baby entertained in the grocery line... But one thing we DON'T have, that we really need, is a Mommy Remote Control.

Not like this, exactly - but this is awesome too.

The most frequently needed functions of the Mommy Remote Control would have to be mute, and rewind.

Mute for obvious reasons... 11 month old awake, again, screaming, for NO reason, and it's 5 am and nobody got any sleep? << MUTE >>

"MOOOOOOM!" Gaah... make it stop!
Or the incessant, sandpaper-to-brain, while you're on the phone, "MOM... MOM... MOOOOOOOM! MOM!!". << MUTE >> Phew!

And while I love a good Christmas tune in December, I especially love listening to Christmas songs belted at the top of one's lungs, in July, from two different kids at the same time (different songs? even better). And I appreciate the life skills my kids are gaining when they argue over that *^&%* toy that makes all that noise (thanks, relative who shall not be named), so they need to yell louder to be heard as they try to tear it away from each other. For the 17th time today. But, do I need to listen to it at 6,000 dB? Nay. << MUTE >> Ahhhh...

Nooooooooooooooo...!
And rewind? That moment when you realize - after you've arrived at your destination with several fully dressed and fed kids, despite several fights and shouts of "COME ON!!", on time no less - that the daycare is closed / party is next week / the indoor playground is full. Or you get to the check-out with a full load of groceries and two cranky kids, and you've left your wallet at home. Sigh. << REW >> And, we're back home in our PJs. Or when you're watching the full mug of coffee hurtling mercilessly toward your brand new beige couch. << REW >> Thank you, I'm not sure what I was thinking with a full mug of coffee in the living room... everyone get out. Now.

Of course, fast forward would be handy for Mom. Um, can you say dentist chair? Or the daily get-out-the-door fiasco? << FF >> Ooh, look, we're all ready in record time! Sweet! Heck it could come in handy even when kids aren't involved. (Two words: pap smear. Oh yeah - I went there.)

And then there's pause.

Tonight I had one of those moments where you just want to stop time... just slow down a little because it occurs to you that your very little kids are suddenly not so little anymore, and won't ever be THIS little again. Tomorrow they'll be another day older, and then another, and they just keep growing up. It would be nice if there was a pause button. Like tonight -- The Girl had just been put to bed, finally quiet and laying still after a day and evening of running, shouting, singing, jumping. At last... still, quiet, her fuzzy pink Dora blanket tucked around her, a soft lullaby floating from her purple doggie. Sitting in the chair in her room, waiting for her to drift off, I catch a glimpse of her little foot poking out from under her blanket - five perfect little toes, gently tapping to the music. Awwww. Those little toes! And I think, can we pause right here? Because this, right here, those toes, this moment -- this is perfect. << PAUSE >>

What would you use YOUR Mommy Remote Control for?