Thursday, January 22, 2015

Karma's a Bitch, But She's Got a Point

I've had a few run-ins with Karma lately, and it's making me realize you really just need to stop and listen sometimes.

The first run-in was over the holidays. I had a great idea that I should really minimize in the year 2015 -- get rid of anything we don't NEED in our lives. As I was packing up all the Christmas crap stuff, I decided I was just going to do it: I would toss or donate anything I didn't love. Why pack it away and store it for a whole year just to drag it all out again next year, if we didn't really love it? One of those things was a bunch of window candelabras - they don't match our other lights, they're falling apart because they're cheap, and besides they're just a bit ugly. But, old habits die hard...
I find it hard to 'waste' things and so my old self decided, maybe I should hang onto all the little candelabra light bulbs? They might be useful for... something. Karma (/fate/the universe/whatever you want to call it), being the bitch that she is, took things into her own hands: not 10 minutes later, the bulbs were smashed all over our tile floor. Thanks for looking out for me Karma. Sequestering the kids and cats and sweeping up all the shards of irony forced me to listen... JUST GET RID OF THEM. Okay, okay. I got it. Sheesh.

Then I had the wonderful idea to 'get off Facebook' for a while. As some may remember, I ditched Facebook for a month last year and it was the most productive, albeit twitchy month of the entire year. I've been way too ensconced in it lately and not nearly as productive as I really should be, so I thought, hey maybe it's time to take a break. Except, I didn't take a break, at all. I tried to, but there were messages to respond to and kittens getting stuck in tissue boxes and riddles to decipher and... well, I just never took that break. Then, of course, Karma stepped in for me. Somehow, I found myself in the middle of a social shitstorm involving our entire neighbourhood residents' Facebook page, and one little comment by little old me (IT WAS A JOKE!) resulted in, basically, the EPA being called on my neighbour across the street, who I now owe a huge bottle of wine and probably lots of cake. THANKS KARMA. I'll be backing off Facebook then. GOT IT.

The last call came this morning. I was in the shower, running late due to the fact that I got up EARLY to get on the treadmill (holla!) and was feeling so smug that after sweating for a good 24 minutes, I sat down to watch the rest of the Girls episode I was watching while running. Okay jogging. Okay walking fast. Anyway it was a great episode, but meant I had to rush around, try to take a 'fast' shower and ended up dropping the razor on my toe and breaking it (the razor, not my toe... what the hell I don't shave with an anvil!) AND getting soap in my eyes at the same time.

Karma, I get it, okay? I hear you. Stop getting up early and working out! she's saying. I GOT IT, duly noted. I'm on it.

Now if you'll excuse me I have some apology cakes to bake, but remember: listen to Karma. She knows what's what, and she's not afraid to smash lightbulbs and involve the EPA in your shit, and she really doesn't like me getting up at 6 am to get on the treadmill (clearly!).