A New 'High' and Back to Day 1

Welp, after all my hard work to train for a 10K, I let it all slide, as you do. I had the best intentions, of course -- I even signed up for two more races to keep me 'going'. But, life being as it is, I fell so far off the wagon that I couldn't even find the wagon anymore.

I got to a point, very recently, where I was eating a chocolate bar for lunch. And sometimes breakfast. No exercise whatsoever. Wine almost nightly. It's the summer after all, and life is too short! Have that treat! Have another -- who cares?? Enjoy yourself!

Except, I really wasn't enjoying myself all that much. Sure, I'd get that initial 30 second rush and happiness (mmmmm chocolate!), or that buzzy feeling after a glass or two of wine, but then: crash. Guilt, bloat, blech. Exhaustion, dragging myself through the day, generally just yuck. So NOT fun. But, once you're down that rabbit hole, it can be very hard to see a way out again.

I couldn't fit into any of my summer clothes that fit me earlier this year when we went to Florida. I was blaming general bloat (ummm PMS 24/7 maybe?) and maybe our crappy dryer randomly decided to shrink things that have been washed and dried a hundred times before?

Yeah... it wasn't the dryer. But I was still in denial about the situation, ignoring it as best I could. Yoga pants are the best invention ever, especially if you want to lie to yourself about your body, because they never get too small. Sooooo stretchy!

I got a particularly sick feeling in my stomach recently one morning, when I'd just eaten yet another crappy meal, and then hopped on the scale in the basement that I'd sort of forgotten we owned. The number bowled me over. It was the highest number I'd ever seen on a scale when not 6+ months pregnant. Of course at first I assumed the scale just wasn't... calibrated, or something? Or maybe I'd done the conversion wrong from kg to lb? Forgot to carry the one?

Nope.

woh woh

And then, just to really drive the message home to me (since clearly I wasn't listening to all the other messages!), I went and threw my back out in the worst way. Doing nothing in particular, just moving in a certain way and *twang!*... you're done. I practically couldn't move for two full days. It was MISERABLE.

And, I knew then that I had to do something.

Lucky for me, The Hubs has a habit of buying exercise and nutrition programs on the regular, so I didn't need to go any further than his office closet to find a program that I thought I could stick to. I opted for the 21 Day Fix, as I've had friends who have had great success with it, and I didn't have to buy anything other than groceries (I'm not doing the shakes, just the meal plan and workouts). Ultimately, it's no different from every other program out there: portion control, choosing foods wisely, and exercise. It's not rocket science, but having a set program to follow is what I need right now to keep me on track and get going.

I have a plan. And, I'm already halfway through Day 1! Yay me! We spent the better part of the weekend reading through the meal plan and writing lists, shopping for food (I really need a bigger fridge yo!) and prepping meals. I feel fully prepared for the week ahead, and despite a sore back (still), I managed to complete the first workout - with modifications.

Here we go!

Fridge is filled to the rafters with produce!

Sweaty and out of shape: Day 1, Plyo

An Unexpected Slap in the Face

I recently had the pleasure of visiting an art studio with my daughter, who was invited to a birthday party there. It was your typical little storefront art studio: walls crowded with completed works of art, paint splatters on the concrete floors, the smell of tempera and modelling clay in the air.

It was enough to make me want to puke. 

It's not because I didn't like it in there, or because I have some subconscious hate on for arty things. Quite the opposite, actually.

You see, I used to consider myself somewhat artistic. Talent? Ha! No, none of that. But what I had was passion: I love, love, love the process of creating art. The act of sitting down to a blank canvas, or pad of paper, pens or markers or pencils or paintbrush in hand... it was enough to make my heart skip a beat. It was thrilling, fulfilling, enchanting. I could get lost in it for hours. Still to this day I have a visceral reaction to the smell of clay and paint, the way some people love the smell of freshly-baked apple pie: it is love, comfort, home.

It was everything I could do not to break down and start to weep the moment we walked into that studio that day.

But, the reality of life and parenting and working full time and everything else means I just don't have the time, or the space, to dedicate to art. I don't feel I can afford the luxury of a few hours to myself -- and when I do get those hours, they are spent folding laundry, or flaking out online because I just don't have the energy for much else these days.

I've managed to stuff that love of creating down deep, and generally ignore it. It may not be healthy or altogether effective, but as long as I pretend it's cool with me that I don't get to immerse myself in art for a few hours a day, I can happily get on with life. The life that I chose, that has nothing to do with art studios usually.

Until, that is, I'm hit in the face with those sights and smells, and I'm suddenly faced with all that it is that I've been stuffing away for so long. As it was in the art studio that day: the feeling was shocking, overwhelming, and caught me completely off guard. Many people might feel excited, or at the very least intrigued walking into a place like that -- I felt sorrow and longing. My heart hurt.

One of these days, when my kids don't need me for every little thing and my house isn't a total sty and I don't already have 45 other things on the ever-loving to-do list, I will sit down to a blank canvas, paintbrush in hand, and un-stuff it all. Hell... I may just sit there and weep.

photo credit: Clos Pegase Winery - Painter via photopin (license)

The Great Clothing Purge 2015

Anyone who knows me knows I rant and rail against laundry on an almost daily basis. WHY do we have so much clothing?? WHY??

With that in mind, and given that the kids' drawers were literally teeming with clothing, we set out to do a giant purge. I really like the idea of Spring Cleaning, but for me, Fall is when I want to get RID of stuff.

We set aside 2 hours and got to work... dumping out drawers, assessing everything for size and wear and stains. The kids were a big help (if you count throwing clothing in the air and jumping in the piles like piles of leaves "help"...).

Purging is so cathartic though -- if you can put aside the emotional attachment you have to clothing ("Aw this is what she wore when she lost her first tooth!") it just feels good to let things GO.

Queue Frozen tagline in 5... 4... 3...

I'll be honest... I didn't think we had THAT much to get rid of -- maybe a handful of things that didn't fit the kids, and a few things I never wear anymore. So I was shocked when we dumped all the clothes we were parting with down into the front foyer, and ended up with this:

That doesn't even include all the outgrown clothes from the youngest -- her closet is literally full, but she was already down for a nap by the time we finished. 

Now I look in the drawers and closets and instead of feeling overwhelmed and a sense of dread (at the task ahead, of the impending laundry), it's like a breath of fresh air. Everything that's there is there for a reason, fits, will be worn. 

Well... almost everything. Turns out I don't know my kids as well as I thought I did, as the first thing that The Hubs pulled out of Baby Girl's drawer this morning was too small! D'OH! My excuse? She must have grown overnight.... ;)

Not YOU... You're the Good One!

NO no no.

The "good" one has started to act up.

No, this can't be. She's our rule-follower. Our middle child, our quiet one. The pleaser. Sure she has her moments, her fits of crying, times when she's immobilized by shyness. But, she's our good girl!

But lately, I've seen a little flash in her eye, as she swears up and down and inside out that what she's saying is TRUE! It's TRUE Mommy, I didn't sleep at ALL last night! Or, For real, I got a elephant one [vitamin]!"*

*SIDEBAR -- why do my kids insist on classifying every little thing, and placing a higher value on things that are exactly the same?? The 'elephant' and 'hippo' vitamins taste *exactly* the same as the 'doggy' one, just with a different picture engraved on the side, little children! Can't you see that?? Gaah!

But I digress. The point is, The Girl has started to lie like a rug.

Now, I know it's a phase in childhood... it's just her age. She is 5.5... 5.5 year olds lie. They just do. And I know it's probably good for her, in the long run, to test out fact from fiction, her acting skills, asserting herself in the face of a challenge.

At least that's what I'm telling myself as I question her on these things that are CLEARLY lies (or "fibs" as we call them, trying to soften the edges a little).

She couldn't be The Good One forever... but come on, we only get 5.5 years? The Boy is WAY too smart for us, and Baby Girl is hell on wheels in comparison... don't we get ONE good kid to balance things out?

What really terrifies me, as a parent

As a parent in today's world, there are certainly a lot of things to be scared of. Kids getting hurt, contracting an incurable disease, the threat of the ever-ubiquitous Boogeyman, the worry that kids will grow up to be ax-murderers, or worse: garage band drop-outs. All things that will keep anxious parents up at night.

But what really terrifies me is none of those things. Maybe because they are all unknowns: you have no idea if any of those really scary things will touch your family in some way.

No, what really scares me is something that I know without a shadow of a doubt will affect my kids in a profound and unpreventable way.

Life Without Facebook: Take 2

So, last year on a whim I took the plunge and gave up Facebook for a month. It was fabulous.

Although I missed out on a lot of posts about The Bachelor and pictures of various babies and puppies and whatnot, the benefits far outweighed those costs: I looked at my phone less (once I gave up Google+ too), I didn't get caught up in whatever online drama was happening that day, I was more focused and productive at work, I got more sleep.

When the month was up and I got back on Facebook, I felt I had a better perspective on what it was all about.

Fridge Oatmeal -- OMG You Guys.

So, I know I am going to come across as sounding a little kooky here, but I think I have found my new love, in a mason jar. I've been a bit of a Fridge Oatmeal Evangelist lately, I admit. I just can't stop sharing this with everyone around me, so naturally it was time for a Fridge Oatmeal blog post :)

Now I know oatmeal in a jar doesn't sound all that exciting, but it has been a complete game changer for me. Actually, when I first saw this on The Yummy Life I was skeptical that it would be any good. But you guys... it's like a little jar of awesomeness - so yummy, so easy, so portable, and keeps you full all morning. Really, what more could you want?

A Few Things I Have Learned About Myself (As I Get Older)

It's funny to think about all the times in my 20's and early-30's I'd heard women say things about how they couldn't do certain things anymore, which things upset their stomach, "I can't lay on the floor or I'll never get up" etc.

I found it odd and couldn't relate, because nothing seemed to bother my stomach, give me black circles under my eyes, throw my back out... nothing was 'off limits' (other than staying up all night drinking... but even then it was a matter of staying in bed a few extra hours, a couple of Advil and a round of McD's to cure what ailed me). I always wondered if someday I would get to that point where my stomach couldn't handle things, I couldn't lift certain things for fear of throwing out my back, couldn't stay up all hours and just sleep it off the next day.

The answer is: YES. Getting (a little) older does do certain things to you. Now, I know if I ate a little better and exercised more (*cough* some *cough*) these things wouldn't as as much of an issue. Thing is, it sortof sneaks up on you, and you DON'T need to exercise or eat particularly well in your 20's and early 30's in order to feel okay. You just don't -- youth seems to take care of things for you. And even though I heard it 100 times or more, I really just didn't see this coming.

Anyway, I've learned a few things about myself lately. I know there will probably be plenty more to discover about myself as the years march on and things change, within and around me... but I thought it worth mentioning these new-found discoveries, for posterity if nothing else. How many more weird and wonderful things await me??

Unraveled

It seems that every other week or so, I let my life  u n r a v e l ...

I start staying up too late searching for random things online ("how to compost", "calico kitten names", "Skylanders birthday party" - damn you, Pinterest) and watching The Bachelorette (insert ashamed face here). I'm all tired because of not enough sleep and no exercise, so I'm getting up late. I'm rushing to get hair brushed and people dressed and out the door, I'm late for work, tired all day, not getting my sh*t done, rushing to get the kids fed and and bags packed for whatever activity (so much for simplifying), and by the time evening rolls around I'm too tired to do anything but pack lunches and grab my phone to look up that thing I was supposed to do last week.

I know what I need to do... I know how to keep the train on the track. I just... tend to let things slip every now and then. It's amazing how quickly things can go from organized - schedules written on whiteboards, birthday presents bought, laundry in a reasonable state of doneness - to a COMPLETE HOT MESS of "Oh crap the soccer stuff is wet" and "what will we feed the kids - cheese strings and crackers is a good supper, right?".

The garden has been left to completely fend for itself - I have no idea if all my hard work has been for naught because I haven't really spent much time out there. We brought two adorable kittens home and still haven't named them (soon!). We have The Boy's 7th birthday party this weekend and I've done NOTHING to prepare. The Girl has been complaining of a toothache for several days and we still don't have a dentist appointment made. The weeds in our garden beds are taking over. And on and on it goes...

U N R A V E L I N G

Time to get this train back on the damn track. It's abundantly clear to me that as The Mom, I can't just let things slip anymore. We used to have that luxury, when we had no kids, or even one little one, and could get away with snacks for supper and no laundry done. But with all these people relying on things moving in the right direction all the time, we just need to KEEP ON. Schedules written, clothes washed, things done in advance, sleep had, so The Mom can get up at the crack of dawn and get it all rolling for another day.

Stop it, stop it, STOP.IT. Just STOP.

 - Gretchen Rubin

"Please, please just stop growing up. PLEASE. STOP."

This was me pleading with my 14-month-old this morning, after she had lovingly placed a drooly kiss on my cheek, and then slapped me in the face with both hands. As you do.

Despite the slapped cheeks - or possibly because of them? - I found myself looking at her with tears in my eyes and trying to stop time by hugging it out of her: if I hold on tight and squeeze, maybe I can stop the growing up. Please, honey. Seriously - please stop.

That goes for your brother and sister too.

I see them changing before my eyes and I don't like it. Not one bit. They're getting bigger. They're getting those "big kid" eyes - the ones that one minute are laughing because you said "boogie" (I didn't mean THAT! Oh nevermind.), and the next they're looking at you sideways because you said no treats after supper. The big kid eyes that tell you they know stuff. They're starting know some stuff that I don't know. The balance is shifting. I don't like this growing up business AT ALL.

It's the little things:

I no longer need to unfold The Girl's socks for her, or button up her one pair of button-up PJs. I don't know when this started.

I pull jeans out of the dryer and don't immediately know whose they are - mine or theirs?

The way The Boy asks if I can play Mario Kart with him, and when I tell him I can't right now, he shrugs and says, "That's okay." Wait - what? It's okay? Like, that's cool. Whatever mom. I'm cool. *shrug* No whining? No tantrum? When did this start?

The way The Girl brushes her hair away from her face while she's drawing.

The way Baby Girl nodded and said "Yes." when I asked her if she wanted another cracker. Excuse me? Since when do you nod and say "yes" like you're a teenager or something? (I was so distracted, I didn't even do the requisite parental "Yes... please?")

The time The Boy was telling a story and added, laughing, "It was so random."

You don't even notice these things evolving, just one day they are happening and it's all around you - your kids growing up, having the knowing eyes and shrugging and tossing of the hair - and you can't stop time the way you'd like. They just keep doing their thing and getting bigger and it's just... it's not cool, okay?

So, I'll take those slobbery kisses (baby drool does have that faintly sweet smell that you never thought you'd love, but you do...) and even the double chubby-hand face slaps. And I'll just keep trying to hug the growing up out of them. It's worth a shot, right?

Simplify: Not That Simple! (But one thing you can start TODAY)

It turns out, simplifying one's life is not that simple.

It's one thing to say, "Get rid of half your stuff"... and would definitely lead to a simpler, easier to maintain lifestyle. Thing is, paring down your stuff takes time. Then you have to do something with it -- donate it all? Yard sale? Sell it online? All these things take time, planning, organization.

There's a huge limit on my time and energy these days... with three kids, meals, chores, activities, and just the basics of keeping a household running (somewhat) smoothly, there is very little time OR energy left over. I guess this whole simplifying thing is a process -- a  long one, with a bunch of steps. It can seem a bit intimidating at the outset (like exercising! which I'm also not doing much of these days!)...

However, there is one thing you (and I) can start doing TODAY that requires no advance planning, no tools or research, and no real adjustments of the schedule. Yet it's something that makes a HUGE difference in your life. Are you ready for it?...

GET. MORE. SLEEP.

Simplify: Try Meditation (it's not just for kooks)

In my quest to live more simply, I decided to give meditation a try. You might wonder what meditation has to do with simplifying... isn't it just another "to-do", something else to get done in the run of a day? Who has the time?

Also - isn't that for people who are a little... you know... kooky??

Let me tell you: it's not just for kooks. And it really DOES help with the quest to simplify, because for a short period of time the mind clutter is cleared away, like a breath of fresh air for your brain. It's actually pretty amazing.

I know, I know - it still sounds a little kooky. But, for someone who really doesn't know what they are doing and is just starting out, I can tell you it really does change your life. Or, at least your day.

Getting a Handle on the Ever Loving Laundry

If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the piles and piles of laundry will disappear all too soon and that you will, to your surprise, miss them profoundly. – Thomas S. Monson

Umm... nope. I will NOT MISS THEM. (The piles I mean. The kids? Sure. The piles?... NOPE.)

It seems that with each new family member you add, the number of dirty clothes grows exponentially. It's truly amazing how much laundry a family of five can produce in just a matter of days. I think back wistfully to the days when I had a "laundry day"... it came around every other week or so, I'd gather up the sheets and a couple of towels, and my clothes and start a load or two. No biggie.

Sigh.

The Thing About Clutter, and My Quest to Simplify

On a whim last week I decided to give up social media for a month; and let me tell you, a week and a half in, I'm already seeing some positive effects. I'm no longer whipping out my phone to 'go online' anytime there's a lull, a break in conversation, a commercial, time to 'fill'. I'm not obsessively checking my notifications as though they're a to-do list to get through. I'm not concerned about capturing photos on my phone to post online or framing my thoughts in the form of a Facebook status update.

Mostly, I'm learning how to be present. To be HERE, now. To be okay in this moment, just this moment and nothing else. A big inspiration to me lately has been Leo Babauta's Zen Habits, and specifically his ideas for living simply, with intention, and putting energy into things that really matter.

I'm also learning that all that time spent online scrolling through newsfeed items is really a distraction from more important things, and a way to procrastinate. It was occupying more than just my down-time... it was ever-present in the back of my mind, it's what I turned to when I didn't want to complete a task or I was bored or just didn't want to think about all the things I SHOULD be doing.

Spending time online is a really easy way to avoid being in this moment; but not being in the moment is proving harmful for so many reasons: you're not with the people you are with. You're avoiding something. You're not clearing your mind - you are avoiding thinking about anything, giving yourself a way to not think at all and most of all, wasting time.

When I think of the distractions I've built into my own life, I realize they are just clutter. Social media, email, texts, blogs and news sites I've historically tried to keep up with... they are cluttering up my time, and my energy. They aren't all bad, but in large part they are taking away from what's really important. In fact, they are preventing me from thinking about what exactly IS important in the first place, and filling my time and my mind with clutter instead.

As a result of giving myself a little bit of time to THINK, just be for a few minutes at a time, I've realized that I've filled other parts of my life with clutter as well. I'm starting to wonder if we're serving our things and not the other way around. The piles of toys in our house could compete with a toy store. Outgrown and worn-out clothes are bursting from closets. There are stacks of papers and things that need to be dealt with. All this clutter, this keeping-up-with-the-Joneses, this acquiring of STUFF is taking away, not adding to my life and that of my family. We're spending time and energy (even if it's just mental energy) dealing with all the things, all the time. The more toys we have, the more we have to clean up. The more clothes we have, the more laundry we need to do. And so it goes.

SO... in addition to cutting back online, I'm on a new quest to cut back at home too: to let go of the things that are taking away, and make an effort to say no, and not to bring things in unless they serve to enrich my life and the things that are important. I'm on a quest to SIMPLIFY, so I - and my family - will have the time, and space, and energy to focus on what IS important:

1. Family - time spent together
2. Work - focused and productive
3. Hobbies: gardening, painting
4. Friends
5. Self: physical and mental health

Even limiting that list to five items was difficult for me; I wanted to add all kinds of other things to it, but to be able to simplify and refocus, it had to be pared down to just five important things.

Right now, I'm just taking the very small step to identify what's important, and frame my decisions about what to keep and what to let go of based on whether it enriches or takes away from those five things. I'm not running home to throw everything out, or do a massive purge to give away all our worldly possessions (though a purge is coming!); I'm simply focusing on this list for the time being.

One small step at a time...

Life Without Facebook

Every year, a friend of mine goes "offline" for Lent. Now, I am not religious at all, but every year I think, That's great! But there's no WAY I could do it. I depend way too heavily on my online interactions every day...

Which is exactly the reason I've decided to do the same this year.

An entire... month?

I won't lie, I am actually having heart palpitations about this right now. It's been exactly three hours since I made this decision, and I've fought the urge to check Facebook no less than a dozen times already.

I realize for a lot of people who aren't online all day, this may sound pretty ridiculous... But I am sadly one of the many Facebook addicts out there.

Just to give an idea of my mental state when I made this decision: my first thought when I made up my mind to do this on a whim this morning was, "But I haven't posted about my break to anyone." Meaning... I haven't prepared anyone for the devastating news that I would not be checking posts constantly, scrolling through my newsfeed, commenting on random things throughout the day, liking anything, for an entire month. How will anyone know what I'm up to? How will I know what everyone else is up to??

Clearly, I am way too caught up in the day-to-day goings-on on Facebook and other social media sites. (Who am I kidding - it's Facebook 98% of the time) I have wasted far, far too much time browsing, reading, checking, looking, mindlessly scrolling. FAR too much time.

So, there it is. Here we go, another digital diet, but this time it's a cold-turkey full-on break from Facebook. I will still be checking email and texts whenever they come in, and writing here, but besides that, you (hopefully) won't see me online in the next month. If I can stick to this.

It won't be that hard... will it?...

(In case anyone is wondering... I will share my blog posts on Facebook during this hiatus, but I can do that from my blog, so no cheating!)

If I Had Some Time to Blog...

As a good friend often and eloquently puts it: "no time".

I often think of things I could write about... if only I had more time. Sooo many ideas floating in my head and nowhere to put them! Here's a quick list of topics I WOULD cover, if I had the time:

1. The End of an Era: when your kid stops napping (and your world comes crashing down)
2. All the crafty things I'd like to have time to do and blog about, like cute Halloween decorations, and Advent calendar ideas
3. Ten reasons why I'm NOT doing 'elf on a shelf'
4. Potty-training your headstrong toddler
5. Things to do when you have insommnia
6. The Angry Birds birthday party we did for our 5-yr-old (it was awesome!)
7. My thoughts on the Amanda Todd situation
8. Kids' lunch ideas
9. Learning how to use my camera, one poorly-taken photo at a time
10. Veggie Gardening: lessons learned by a first-timer

If I had some more time, I'd also learn about how to increase readership and get more blog members... how to spread the word about my blog... how to break into the coveted inner circle of the mommy blogger world.

Alas, for now you are all stuck with my weekly pregnancy posts and the occasional drive-by about random stuff! Although, if you have any tips for how to increase readership and/or time, please share :)

Tired Spiral & Self-imposed Screen Ban

This morning, The Boy was talking about how he had a black eye (a couple of weeks ago, Frisbee mishap), but now it was gone. Then he looked at me and said, "But Mommy YOU have TWO black eyes!" pointing to just below his lower lids.

Sigh.

"No honey... those are just my 'mom eyes'."

I'm tired. Always tired. Sure, two small kids and one in the works will tire anyone out... but I admit... I do it to myself too.

I'm caught in the Tired Spiral right now...

Wake up late - morning is thrown off - stressed out - late for work - not productive at work - late leaving work - late getting home with kids - dragging tired self and family upstairs to do the bedtime routine - takes longer than it should because I'm tired - back down to kitchen to clean up, repack bags, make lunch, set up coffee maker...

So by this point it's 9:30 pm or so. What happens next?

Plunk tired self on couch, open laptop, turn on TV. Zone out.

By the time I drag myself up to bed it's 11 pm. If a kid doesn't wake up through the night, one or both will be up early. Turns out, this isn't enough sleep for me! Hit snooze three times, wake up late...

And, repeat. Tired Spiral.

Given that I need to be at work 8 hours of the day and kids need to eat a few times a day, and preferably be dressed before leaving the house, there are some things that just can't go. But screen time? That can go.

There are still things I need to do on my computer on a regular basis (like this!) but what I DON'T need to do is sit down and veg out for several hours. Not only is it a waste of time, it's causing me to lose sleep (once I'm down, it's very hard to get back up!), and that's not good for anyone.

So... I'm thinking about a self-imposed screen ban.

I'll be honest, I'm a bit scared about this. These are habits that are hard to break, especially when you are already so tired (but 9:00 pm seems way, way too early to just... go to bed). How can I cut out something like TV...? All the good shows just started again! Am I really that hooked on TV and my nightly online time that I can't just... turn it off?

No, I can do this. It's really not that big of a deal. But I need a few ground rules.

1. No screen time (TV, phone, laptop) after 9:00 pm
2. Only watch shows that I know I want to watch. None of this 'channel surfing'.
3. If I'm too tired to do anything but watch TV, I need to GO TO BED
4. No phones in the bedroom
5. Free-for-all Friday & Saturday nights. Woo! 
6. No snooze button! I have my alarm set for 6:35 am right now. I should be able to get up at that time.

And YES, before anyone jumps on me, I know... this will all change in a few short months when there's a newborn in the house! Believe me, I'm equally terrified about that, haha.

In the meantime, if anyone has any tips for me for how to just TUNE OUT and TURN OFF and get to bed at a reasonable time of day... please share.

My glorious day OFF!

When I heard that the kids' daycare would be putting on a Mother's Day event this afternoon, I decided to attend. Since I'd have to be there at 3:00, I figured, I better take the whole day off work. Heh.

There is really nothing better as a mom than an entire day (until 3:00 anyway) to do whatever. Anything. The day is MINE! I feel so free!!

So, what am I doing on my day off?

Cleaning. Laundry. Organizing. (well right after I finish this post...)

And sadly, I could NOT be more excited about this.

You see, as a work-outside-the-home mom it's very rare that I get any time in my house without other people (little and big) around, making messes and needing things. There are the ever-loving piles of laundry - clean and dirty - begging for attention. There are the scuzzy floors that almost never see a cleaning product. The toilets... 'science experiment' comes to mind. Yech.

So, after sleeping in (thankyouhubby!!) until 7:30 am (my 19-year-old self just recoiled), drinking coffee in my PJs ALONE, tending to my seedlings and plants (update on them to come soon), playing a little DrawSomething, and writing this post, I'm off to do laundry and clean toilets.

Wheeeee!!

I really need a day off every week. An actual day off - not a weekend day, those are worse than weekdays! The errands, activities, messy kids... No, a real day off where I get to choose what to do with my time. If not every week, maybe every 6 months?

A girl can dream.

The Accumulation and Storage of Things Outgrown

Seasons changing always mean a massive clothing migration, which means in the Spring and Fall we have every kind of clothing out and everywhere, from swimsuits and bucket hats to mittens and sweaters, and everything in between. Doesn't help that it was 30 degrees in March and snowed this past weekend. 

The thing about kids is, they are always growing. Always. They grow out of clothing, and you get them some more, and they grow out of those too.

Will the insanity never end??

Alongside the outgrowing and seasonal migration of clothes, we have the Accumulation and Storage of Things Outgrown. The boxes and baskets in the kids' closets, collecting things that you swear just fit them last week! Heaven forbid it's a favourite item, that you go to put on them and discover is at least 3" too short but, now that it's on, good luck getting it off.

And somehow these boxes and baskets are always overflowing with things outgrown. I empty them (okay only about once a year but still... I do it), and I turn around and they're full again. Poof! Magic clothes!

Then there are The Bins. Huge, plastic bins stuffed with more Things Outgrown, occupying nearly all the shelves in our basement, as well as some of our garage. Heaven help me if I ever need to go looking for something in one of The Bins. *shudder*

The issue is that I really don't have a good system in place to organize, label, and store these things. I'd like to think that someday I'll sell some of the really good stuff, but the thought of going through all those bins to pull out, photograph, list, price and categorize all the items is enough to stop me from doing it. (Also the possibility that we might have another child... hence we're hanging onto *everything*, just in case.)

As of right now I have bins 'sorted' (I use that term loosely) by size and gender. Size being the wearable size of the clothing, not necessarily what's on the label (so something that fit the boy at age 2 would go in the 2T bin). Then there are the boxes of shoes and boots - many of which should probably just be donated or tossed but got boxed up and put on a shelf forevermore. I'm filled with a sense of dread anytime I have to go put a box of outgrown clothes away in the basement, because I'll have to actually look at the bins and acknowledge the huge task that awaits, someday in the not-too-distant future: the reorganizing of the Things Outgrown.

When I get to it, I will organize things by gender: boy, girl, and neutral. I'll be more brutal when it comes to deciding what to keep, and I'll sort things by season. I'll purge. I'll store bins on the shelves in order of age. I'll keep a small bin in the kids' rooms for the next size up (at least for The Girl, for any hand-me-downs that can be worn from her brother).

When I get to it... Or maybe I can just call some professional service to come and do this?

Needed: Mommy Remote Control

I realize Moms of our generation have a lot of help in the form of gadgets, gear, etc that generations past did not have. Things like: cup holders on strollers, video monitors to watch Little Johnny even while he's sleeping (because that's important -- ooh he rolled over!), apps to keep baby entertained in the grocery line... But one thing we DON'T have, that we really need, is a Mommy Remote Control.

Not like this, exactly - but this is awesome too.

The most frequently needed functions of the Mommy Remote Control would have to be mute, and rewind.

Mute for obvious reasons... 11 month old awake, again, screaming, for NO reason, and it's 5 am and nobody got any sleep? << MUTE >>

"MOOOOOOM!" Gaah... make it stop!

Or the incessant, sandpaper-to-brain, while you're on the phone, "MOM... MOM... MOOOOOOOM! MOM!!". << MUTE >> Phew!

And while I love a good Christmas tune in December, I especially love listening to Christmas songs belted at the top of one's lungs, in July, from two different kids at the same time (different songs? even better). And I appreciate the life skills my kids are gaining when they argue over that *^&%* toy that makes all that noise (thanks, relative who shall not be named), so they need to yell louder to be heard as they try to tear it away from each other. For the 17th time today. But, do I need to listen to it at 6,000 dB? Nay. << MUTE >> Ahhhh...

Nooooooooooooooo...!

And rewind? That moment when you realize - after you've arrived at your destination with several fully dressed and fed kids, despite several fights and shouts of "COME ON!!", on time no less - that the daycare is closed / party is next week / the indoor playground is full. Or you get to the check-out with a full load of groceries and two cranky kids, and you've left your wallet at home. Sigh. << REW >> And, we're back home in our PJs. Or when you're watching the full mug of coffee hurtling mercilessly toward your brand new beige couch. << REW >> Thank you, I'm not sure what I was thinking with a full mug of coffee in the living room... everyone get out. Now.

Of course, fast forward would be handy for Mom. Um, can you say dentist chair? Or the daily get-out-the-door fiasco? << FF >> Ooh, look, we're all ready in record time! Sweet! Heck it could come in handy even when kids aren't involved. (Two words: pap smear. Oh yeah - I went there.)

And then there's pause.

Tonight I had one of those moments where you just want to stop time... just slow down a little because it occurs to you that your very little kids are suddenly not so little anymore, and won't ever be THIS little again. Tomorrow they'll be another day older, and then another, and they just keep growing up. It would be nice if there was a pause button. Like tonight -- The Girl had just been put to bed, finally quiet and laying still after a day and evening of running, shouting, singing, jumping. At last... still, quiet, her fuzzy pink Dora blanket tucked around her, a soft lullaby floating from her purple doggie. Sitting in the chair in her room, waiting for her to drift off, I catch a glimpse of her little foot poking out from under her blanket - five perfect little toes, gently tapping to the music. Awwww. Those little toes! And I think, can we pause right here? Because this, right here, those toes, this moment -- this is perfect. << PAUSE >>

What would you use YOUR Mommy Remote Control for?