Diary of a Real Pregnancy: Week 38 - Birth: Not Gonna Happen

Okay I'm going to come right out and say it: I don't want to give birth.

I'm not scared, per se. I know I can do it. I just don't want to anymore. It's uncomfortable, unpredictable, takes a lot out of you mentally and physically, and let's face it: it hurts, no matter how zen you are. 

I've just decided... I'm not doing it. No thanks, I'm good with the back pain and insomnia and hugeness, I'm not going through the whole birth "thing". Mmmkay? Cool. 

Now that that's out of the way I'll give a quick update of things to date...

• Had a doctor's appointment, all is well in babyland. Bloodwork came back a-ok (no worries about platelets which came back low last time), group-B Strep results were negative, I didn't gain any more weight (woo!), and blood pressure etc were fine. Baby's heartbeat was lovely and fundal height is measuring right on. All good!
• Went over our birth plan with the doc and it went like this: "Yup, yes, yup, definitely, no problem, yup, for sure, no problem, yup." -- yay! The only things she questioned were my request for no oxytocin post-delivery, which isn't a problem but I said if needed I'd be fine with it; and delayed cord clamping which is still a bit debatable whether there are distinct advantages of doing it but they will definitely do it if I want. So, yay!
• Doc also offered to check my cervix to see what it's doing and I said "NO thanks!" -- remember, I'm not giving birth? Also knowing that I'm 1-2 cm or 3-4 cm is really irrelevant at this point (baby #3, you can walk around dilated at 3 cm for weeks!) so I'd just rather not know.
• Baby's room is all set up! BOOM. (Except for hanging things on the walls and putting all the clothes away... soon!)
• Pack N Play is set up in our room and ready for babe!
• Back still hurts but not as much/often (maybe because of the lack of weight gain??)... and my feet aren't swollen hobbit feet anymore! 
• Weird thing - when I get a Braxton Hicks contraction (at least a few times a day), blood rushes to my face and ears and I get a lot of pressure in my head. Apparently it has something to do with a rush of hormones?? It's totally weird but thankfully disappears quickly once the BH is done (a minute or two).
• Labour bag is packed and ready to go. 

So, this week I'm working on cleaning the house (any fabric that's removable / with a zipper is getting washed! Seat cushions, curtains, carseat fabric... you name it, I've washed it), slowly but surely. Baby's decorations are going up on the wall, clothes are getting put away. I have a hair appointment today (yay!), pedicure booked for next week, and will be installing the carseat in the next day or two. Have to get used to driving the van (instead of my peppy adorable little red car! *sob*). 

Now I just need to reassemble the car seat... Seriously wishing I'd taken pictures before I 'disassembled' it (ie, the frenzy of MustGetThisWashedRightNow!!), because THIS is what I am dealing with right now. Um... yeah.

Previous: Week 37 - Getting There & Nesting

Diary of a Real Pregnancy: 37 weeks - Getting There & Nesting

37 weeks... Alright so I have finally come around to the idea that we are, in fact, having a baby. I got it... it's happening. I'm there... mentally. Sometimes. Maybe?

I had a doctor's appointment this week, the first of the weekly appointments. Yowsa. You don't get to go weekly until you're close to the end... I guess that means we're close to the end. (Foreboding much??) Anyway -- good appointment. Got the lovely Group B strep test done -- Hello! It's not that big of a deal, really, but does make you want to yelp "Do I know YOU!" (hehehe... I love Steve Martin). My weight actually went *down* this week, somehow (little 'yay!' from me, even though it was just .4 lbs...) and blood pressure and pee were fine. Baby's heart rate was fine too... although when we first took a listen, she had been bouncing all around in there - as she does - and her heart rate was up around 180 or something... what! Bit freaky... it went down to around 120 again so that was all fine but just enough to give me a little mini panic attack. Gah, kids are good for that aren't they!

Anyhoo... moving on to The List from last week. We actually managed to get some of it done. Yay! 

• write birth plan* & review with doc (*er... it counts if I just copied it from last time, right?)
• get leave paperwork sorted with work
• finish painting nursery walls
• put up wall decorations, wash & put up curtains
• wash bedding, towels, blankets & clothing
• put clothing away
• make wipes HA! Yeah not doing this.
• assemble crib, set up with Angelcare monitor Just have to find parent base for monitor...
• set up changing table, incl. wipes warmer <- Yes! with reusable wipes <- No.
• set up bassinet in Master bedroom
• dig out & wash baby bath, swing, car seat, bouncy chair, breastfeeding pillow, Moby
• install car seat in van (move other carseats around...)
• make up contact & info sheets for neighbours in case they end up taking care of kids while in labour
• repack L&D bag and baby bag for hospital
• cook meals for the freezer
• get a pedicure and haircut (hehe okay these are 'extra'... but would be nice!)

Wow, still a lot there huh. But I had to add all of THESE things...

• Pack up & put away all the Christmas Schtuff
• Reorganize & put away all of OUR clothes (now that The Girl has stolen The Hubs' dresser)
• Put Hypnobirthing MP3s on my iPhone
• Download some new music and set up labouring playlists
• Eat an entire gigantic Toblerone bar
• Watch the Bachelor
• Sit around a lot

So, you know - we're doing pretty well... and I'm all set with the eating of the Toblerones. 

Unfortunately insomnia is in full force, which is why I found myself wide awake at 4:30 am the other day, wondering what to do. Couldn't sleep. Started thinking about The List. Thought about the piles of clothing all over the house. Squeezed eyes shut... Nothing. So... I did something I never do: I got up, at 4:30 am, and went to work. Folding clothes, pulling stuff out of drawers, making more piles. Nesting much?? Felt a little crazy, but couldn't stop. On the plus side I got a lot done! Course the rest of the day was a bit of a crapshoot since I was *exhausted* but it's all good, because I knew I had folded clothing in drawers where it belonged and all was right in the world. YES.


Previous: Week 36 - The Final Countdown

Diary of a Real Pregnancy: 36 weeks - The final countdown

So, it's January, 2013. The month we're due to have our baby. 36 weeks... I'm really not sure how we've gotten here. 36 weeks is a lot. 4 weeks until the due date. I just don't even understand how this could be. How??

The countdown is on, and after last week's L&D 'practice run' it's becoming even more real: we will be bringing a baby home within a month. Whaaaa? I don't understand!

There's still so much for us to do to get ready... And between back pain, Braxton Hicks contractions, ribs being pulled apart slowly, and general 9-month-pregnant exhaustion, I just can't seem to get more than one thing per day done. People keep telling me things like "You're so close!"... "Could be any day now!"... "You will have that baby before you know it!"... And I want to punch them in the throat. Because I AM NOT READY. Stop telling me it's nearly over because I NEED MORE TIME. I know when you get to the end of pregnancy generally people are just done (and don't get me wrong, I am done with being uncomfortable, popping pills, not sleeping, etc.....), but I am NOT ready for a baby.

A BABY, yo.

Egad...

Anyway just to keep things on track (haaaa!), I thought I'd jot down the to-do list as it stands today:

• write birth plan & review with doc
• get leave paperwork sorted with work
• finish painting nursery walls
• put up wall decorations, wash & put up curtains
• wash bedding, towels, blankets & clothing
• put clothing away
• make wipes
• assemble crib, set up with Angelcare monitor
• set up changing table, incl. wipes warmer with reusable wipes
• set up bassinet in Master bedroom
• dig out & wash baby bath, swing, car seat, bouncy chair, breastfeeding pillow, Moby
• install car seat in van (move other carseats around...)
• make up contact & info sheets for neighbours in case they end up taking care of kids while in labour
• repack L&D bag and baby bag for hospital
• cook meals for the freezer
• get a pedicure and haircut (hehe okay these are 'extra'... but would be nice!)

So...... yeah. If anyone would like to come over and knock a few of these things off my list, that would be great! :) 

In other news, I took a few photos this week and thought I'd share! Feeling rather rotund!

 

Previous: Week 35: Holidaze & a Cheap Tour of L&D

Diary of a Real Pregnancy: Week 35: Holidaze and a Cheap Tour of L&D

The whirlwind of the holidays means pregnancy 'stuff' gets put on the back burner! I'll tell you one thing, wrapping gifts goes into a whole new dimension when you have this hugeass belly getting in the way. Somehow it all managed to get done (some things a little late, like mailing packages... oops), but man did my back ever pay the price.

Turns out gaining 40+ pounds and being totally out of shape is seriously not a good idea if you want to be able to walk normally. Waddling would actually be an improvement at this point... Most of the time these days I can't even get up from a chair properly, I'm in so much pain. Pregnancy massage is *amazing*, but the relief only lasts for that one hour, and then it's back to hobbling around like an old lady. Super.

On the plus side (pardon the pun ;)), Christmas really has been wonderful this year. I'm enjoying our last Christmas as a family of four, and imagining what it will be like next year with a fifth member of our family crawling (and possibly toddling!) about. Pretty awesome.

Then... Christmas Day. A funny thing happened...

A while back I had been complaining (Nooo not me!) that the hospital where we're going to deliver doesn't do refresher labour & delivery courses or a tour of the facilities. Since we delivered in another hospital the last two times, I just wanted to have a look and get a feel for where we'd be once it was 'go time'... but, no luck.

Anyway back to Christmas day. There we were, bellies full of Christmas Morning Wife Saver (the only acceptable breakfast for Christmas morning!), presents opened, everyone in their PJs just starting to think about getting ready to head over to Nonna & Opa's (my parents). The Girl announced from the bathroom that she'd peed and wanted me to come have a look (aren't 3-year-olds the best?), which I did. Except, in the process of helping her off the toilet, we both ended up falling to the floor. 38 pounds of toddler, right on my belly.

And then...

A puddle. Beneath me. What the...?? I had an internal freak-out session. Did I just pee on the floor? Or... is that... did my water break?? I had no idea what was happening. I got myself cleaned up (meanwhile The Girl reported back to The Hubs that "Mommy peed in her pants!"... sigh) and sat there wondering what to do...

My doctor has been pretty clear as to when to go to Labour & Deliver (L&D): any gushes of fluid, or bleeding. In fact she reminded me of this every time I saw her... and this seemed like a pretty clear 'gush of fluid' to me. Thing is, it's really hard to tell the difference between urine and amniotic fluid :\

SO. Packed the kids up. The Hubs and I exchanging looks like "OMG"... We are, of course, nowhere near ready to welcome a baby home. (Turns out we're more ready than I thought, but having done NOTHING for baby at this point we really were in deer-in-headlights mode...) I threw together a makeshift labour bag, some things for baby just in case, and we headed out. Dropped the kids with my parents, headed in to L&D.

So, I did get my tour of L&D after all... on Christmas day no less. Of course, after monitoring the baby for a while (nurse laughing about how crazy active she is... kicking the monitors nearly off my belly!), and doing their various tests, it was confirmed: I peed myself. Merry Christmas to me!

I was so glad it wasn't baby time but totally embarrassed that we'd gone through all that just to find out I'd peed on the floor. So lame.

But -- it was a wake-up call... It really could be any time. (Course, just watch, I will be a full week late or something, oh dear.) Time to get our butts in gear!